Well I still can not get that scene of ‘Maine Pyar Kiya’ out of my mind when Mohnish Behl says it aloud- “Kya ek jawan ladka aur ek jawan ladki dost ho sakte hain??” This question has constantly been zooming around in my thought process since I have been able to comprehend its meaning. Though I am too fond of movies, it does not make me think twice before saying that they sometimes present to us that part of our world which is far from the reality. So is this really possible to have a genuine friendship with a person of the opposite sex???
Almost everyone has at least one friend of the opposite sex. Sometimes it may be hard, while other times it's great having someone there to talk to and understand your relationship as the same sex as your partner.
It's hard to not cross the line. Being friends with the opposite sex means spending tons of time together. However, you must know your boundaries of what you can and cannot do or talk about. It is quite common for the male or female in the friendship to have a crush on the other person. This leads to many difficulties. Although, if it's pointed out from the start that the relationship will not grow more than just a friendship, it may be a blessing.
A crush obviously means feelings for the other. So, when one is in trouble, they can go straight to their friend and talk them through it -- many times being more sincere than others.
Although this sounds great, it could lead to problems. If the friend keeps his or her feelings to himself/herself for a long period of time they could explode, leaving heartaches on both sides of the spectrum. Even if the feelings aren't kept bundled up, heartache may be in order once the other finds a partner. Which, may also end up hurting the partner, making them jealous or forbidding the friends to see each other.
Most friendships of opposite sexes are great from the start, but fade in time. However, friendship may become more; many friends become spouses later on, be it ten or twenty-years down the road. Most just need to realize their true feelings for the other before becoming serious.
As per Bible, Eve was created to give company to Adam. Why not God created another Adam? That’s coz a man and a woman are complimentary to each other. They fill up the void of emotions and attachments in each other’s lives. Even God would not have thought at that time that this relationship can assume different names in the future, namely friendship and love!! Only when an effort is made to find out the difference between these two feelings (I rather prefer calling these two as feelings rather than forms of relationships) do we need to look for the answer of this question otherwise this question is answered best when it remains unanswered!!!!
7 comments:
waise pehle to congrats for your new journey.
catch you soon on the same roads.
Now abt my comments
i can bet you on that.
Ek na ek baar to woh crush wali baat aati hi hai..(majorly it starts with that)
ye baat alag hai ki baad me when things dont work, both of the ppl give it a name FREINDSHIP(jiska real meaning aaj tak koi poora define nahi kar paaya).And reminding you that this feeling(as correctly said) never faids. (which is the hard truth)
First of all Congratz to u on making ur blog...
Even I agree to your view that a guy & a gal can be very good frnd... I think the line “Opposites Attract” goes well here. Even at times they may be better frndz than anyone else.
The problem which you have mentioned, acc to me generally occurs when one of the them start expecting more out of their relationship... and I think if we stick to the meaning of the word “friends” then there should be no problem. If we try to be good frndz and nothing else then I don’t see any difficulty in this friendship to continue for the entire life…
Enough of philosophy from my side… anyways nice posts... :)
Every relationship in this world is based on a need/desire.. If there's no need/desire, then there is no relationship!
The only selfless relation I can give an example of is that of a mother and her child!
So it's like this, you're alone(not committed) and your friend (who's of the opposite gender) is also alone, and if you share a good time with her, then chances are there, that you two will end up in falling in love with each other...
If you know that your friend is already committed, then there are maximum chances that you'll remain friends (provided your friend's partner doesn't get jealous about you! In case he/she is jealous, you might stop talking to your friend so as not to spoil their relationship.)
However, some people, in the above case might even then get sentimental (rather, fall in love, as they would like to call it) about their friend because they're too vulnerable/weak to control their feelings.
There can be n number of permutations and combinations of when a person will fall in love or be just a friend and it's not possible to list them all.
To be precise, there's no pre-defined way to fall in love. It all depends on your attitude and the situations you're in!
But love and friendship is all about understanding each other, even to the point of destroying your relationship with your friend, if you think that this is the best way of helping out him/her!
Harsh it may seem, but that's my perception of things. After all, love and friendship is all about giving all you have to him/her!
Niraj welcome to the blog world :). Anyways you choose a controversial topic for the blog which is going add a good debating as a part of you comments: D.
I believe a guy and a girl can be very good friend’s even best friends without falling in love or so called crush with each other. There is a line between friendship and love; some say it’s a thin line but there are few characteristics which are special. These characteristics include jealousness, possessiveness, giving orders, asking explanations of every small thing and expecting commitments like you are more then anything else in there world. If any of the above characteristics are are showing even the slight presence between friends has a one clear signal you are heading your friendship towards love. Some of the times seeing the compatibility between the friends one of the guy or the girl try to see things from other angle and try to see the care of friendship as love and from there of collapse of friendship has already begun.
@tammy: I don't agree to your view point that "Ek na ek baar to woh crush wali baat aati hi hai..", since as Rohit pointed out, I too belive that there excists a line between friendship and love/crush... And I think frndship needs no definition as such, it's defined by its owself as time passes on...
@Ankur: I completely disagree to your point that there is always some "need/desire" in any relationship... You may be right to an extent that most realationships are formed on that basis only but not all... Many a times ppl become frndz n then good frndz without any need... I also agree that true friends may turn up becoming lovers or life partners... btw I really liked the line written by you: "After all, love and friendship is all about giving all you have to him/her! "
@Rohit: I agree to your view point completely that a guy and a girl can be very good frnfz forever... and also view about the other angle...
Another post well written(I know this was ur first, but i read this in the end)...and i wudnt hav said so if you hadnt written that last para... the last para some good thinking put into it...good going :)
Coming to the main topic, I have had many female friends(not counting the ones I had crushes on) and therefore I can say that friendship is indeed very much possible between two people. Again, this depens on the environment that one has been brought up in. I believe that the ppl in metropolitans, who study in coed schools and colleges end up finding friends regardless of gender (of course, this is also the group that most often ends up being the "criteria" for indulging in mindless casual sex).
@ankur: i do hav good friends from the opposite gender and the friendship is without any reason or desire. Ofcourse the desire to have a good time is always there, but who says a good time cant be achieved by talking your hearts out or doing generic bakar with the ppl of the opposite sex?!
Hi Niraj,
Point well taken... But, I somehow could not make out what is ur stand in the entire situation.
U remember the dialogue in My best friend's wedding... "Brevity is the order of the day" - I would say "Lucidity is the order of the day" - Things can be ok ONLY if there is no scope for confusion and things r crystal clear between friends...
I would say, friendship between opp sex people is good until u r married or committed. Once, there is someone special in ur life, his wish would become ur command.. And he may not like ur oh-so-close friendship with ur best friend...
A messy game this is... Not easy to have ur cake and eat it too... However, with a trustworthy and understanding partner, i guess it can b taken care of...
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